Guitar Legend

It all started in July. On a day off from my summer job I was invited to my cousin's place to play video games. She asked if I had ever played Guitar Hero. I hadn't. I didn't really actively avoid it (like I do with so many things) I just thought it was the newest craze that all the kids were into and that it wasn't really geared toward me. I couldn't have been more wrong.

We spent the afternoon playing GH III Legends of Rock. I picked up the easy level (the first three fingers playing Green, Red and Yellow) rather quickly and loved playing along with such favorites as The Seeker by the Who, Sunshine of Your Love by Cream and many others. I knew that I needed to jump on this bandwagon and quickly! The next day I bought the bundled pack of Guitar Hero and Guitar Hero 2 along with a guitar controller. I quickly moved up to the medium level (the fourth finger playing the Blue button) and fell in love with the blue-haired Pandora who took the stage each time I played.

It is six months later. I now have all the games available for the PS2: Guitar Hero, Guitar Hero 2, Encore: Guitar Hero Rocks the 80s, Guitar Hero III Legends of Rock, Guitar Hero Aerosmith, and finally Guitar Hero World Tour. I Have since graduated to the "Hard" level which requires the use of four fingers on five keys and, here's the reason for this post, just tonight I beat the first game on this level and achieved the rank of Guitar Legend! Don't get me wrong, I am fully aware of my inability to work the frets and strings of a "real" guitar, but this is still pretty fuckin' cool! Not only that but this particular game has opened up music to me that I never would have considered before: Killer Queen by Queen, Take Me Out by Franz Ferdinand, and Ace of Spades by Motorhead. These as well as many others from the other games (Muse, Danzig, Rage Against the Machine, Iron Maiden) are now in circulation on my iPod. I am anxiously awaiting the next installment in this very impressive series.

A Brush with Greatness

The telephone rings.
The following ensues.

Answerer: “Hello.”
Caller: “Hello?”
Answerer: “Hello.”
Caller: “I’m callin’ about that ad you got in the paper about, uh garden and lawn equipment?”
Answerer: “Yes.”
Caller: “What kind ya got and where are... where can they be seen?”
Answerer: “Wh’I have lawn chairs.”
Caller: “That’s all?”
Answerer: “No! I have udda lawn chairs.”

So begins the "Lawn Equipment Debate" from the Jerky Boys 3 album released in 1996. Sol Rosenberg did indeed place the ad but the poor bastard making the call never does get the information he is looking for.

My first exposure to the Jerky Boys came in the fall of 1993 when my then roommate made passing references to them saying that he would see on Monday with his toolbox, f... face. Shortly thereafter the Chief, of the Chief's Forum brought volumes one and two into my world. Johnny B. and Kamal would make prank calls, record them and distribute them for our amusement. But these were no ordinary prank calls. Some were fictitious answers to real-life advertisements. Others were fictitious advertisements set up to elicit real-life responses. Whatever they were they were NEVER (except of course for "Pablo Honey") an annoying idiot giving you a hard time for no reason. They were clever, fresh, and unbeknownst to me at the time eternal. For better or worse they are now a daily occurrence. In everyday life I can hear the characters answering questions that are posed to me and have to restrain myself from laughing out loud.

"Why does he go on about this so?" you may be asking. Because today I received this through the mail:



To clarify, the cd reads: 'To Elgarf, JB "Sol" ' and the insert reads, "No! I have udda lawn chairs. Best wishes, JB aka "Sol Rosenberg" "

Now,I will not turn into an info-mercial here but I feel this needs repeating. I ordered the Jerky Boys (1) cd. I got an email saying they were out but that Johnny could sign Jerky Boys 2. They would include some cards and stickers as well. I replied that that was fine. So, for the original asking price I got no less than 4 personalized autographed messages from Sol Rosenberg himself!

Hey, Chief, I think you know what you have to do.

God Bless You, Hitler Boy!

My sister brought this story to my attention and it is simply delightful. It's the little things like this that renew my faith in America.

In recent weeks one Heath Campbell was celebrating the third birthday of his son, Adolf Hitler Campbell. Adolf is the oldest of three children. His younger sisters are JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell. Anyway, the proud father ordered a birthday cake from the local Shop Rite with one simple request: write "Happy Birthday Adolf Hitler" on the cake. Apparently Shop Rite refused. They offered to bake the cake, decorate it and write "Happy Birthday" on it leaving enough room for the Campbells to write whatever message they wanted. This was not enough for the first-ammendment-quoting Herr Campbell who claimed discrimination. He decided the only thing he could do to set the situation right was to go to the media. When the papers published the story many subscribers were angry that such an incident would be reported shining such a negative light on their community that they cancelled subscriptions.

When asked if he was a racist, Herr Campbell explained that he wasn't. To prove this fact he pointed out that he had gotten rid of all the swastikas he had laying around the house.

OK. These are the facts as I know them. You can google "Hitler Boy" and get more details than I care to go into.

But let's stop and reflect on this for a moment.

I don't think I can even make a smart-ass comment. There really isn't anything to add.

At any rate the following was pasted directly from FOXNEWS.com

"A 3-year-old boy named Adolf Hitler and his two Nazi-named younger sisters were removed from their New Jersey home last week and placed in state custody, police said."

I would like to personally thank Herr Campbell for his contribution to the news cycle. I cannot think of another story in recent history that moved me as much as this one. From start to finish this IS InfoTainment at its best! You just can't make shit like this up!