I posted this story in a series of comments on another blog. Since it has nothing to do whatsoever with the author's original topic I decided to copy and paste it into a post on the Miscellany. The story, after all, is my own.
I was moonlighting in a second job over the summer, let's say in the service industry. It was a slow afternoon and this shapely young lady (late 20s-early30s) came up to me. She had shoulder-length pale brown hair and was wearing sunglasses that she soon placed on top of her head. I specifically remember the gray tank top she was wearing quite well and remember thinking that she was kinda' hot, although nowhere near as hot as she thought she was. Anyway, I waited on her for some time and she seemed to be getting restless, fumbling with her cell phone. She had a sandwich and was drinking Miller Lite. Soon she was joined by an older guy (mid-60s) wearing a grey hairpiece that was none too convincing. I don't recall what beer he ordered but I think it came in a green bottle, probably Yuengling. They started getting all cozy in their conversation and decided to order some shots of, let's say Jack Daniels. Being outside on the patio the "glasses" that I had available to me were made of plastic, this included the shot glasses. I set them down and started to pour. They looked at each other and started to mumble something. I said, "Excuse me?" They both proceeded to tell me that the glass I placed in front of them was only such and such milliliters and was not a full shot. I looked at them with a blank stare and said, "thank you?" Apparently they thought I needed to be educated by the likes of them. I then reached for the $7.00 that the sugar daddy owed me, he said, "oh, yeah, go ahead and take your money." Did he think I might do otherwise? Maybe give him a shot on the house? I don't know, but my relationship with these people went downhill from there.
You know what? Now that I think of it, the post really didn't remind me of this story. I just wanted to tell it and I guess that was as good an excuse as any.
September 15, 2008 12:49 PM
Elgarf said...
So, where was I? Oh, yeah. He didn't want another beer after I had screwed him on the shot (after they left I checked the bottom of the cup, it is clearly marked 1fl. oz-the same amount that a shot should be). By this time I began to wait on other customers. I came back to the two love birds at one point to find them gone, 2 empty beer bottles sitting on one dollar each. Let me correct that. The Miller Lite bottle was not empty. It had about one finger width of warm liquid sitting in the bottom that she had not drunk in the course of an hour. Obviously,
aw, shit. something came up.
i'll finish this later.
September 15, 2008 1:25 PM
Elgarf said...
Obviously, they had finished, left a dollar tip, and then went on their merry way to fornicate in some cheap motel.
Wrong.
As I went about serving the other customers "she" comes back to the bar. "Where's my beer?" she asked. I told her I threw it away when she left. "I didn't leave! I just went to the restroom!" she shouted. I forget how she put it but she let me know that this was the incorrect way for me to do my job. She began bitching to some female friends who had joined her at the bar. "Where's my dollar?" she bellowed. One of the friends commented that I must have assumed it was a tip and had already taken it, so I reached into the tip jar, pulled out a dollar and put it in front of her. "Well, can I have another beer?" she demanded.
I really didn't understand what was going through "her" head. It seemed to me that she was having a bad day and wanted to take it out on someone so she kept setting me up with these little tests which I repeatedly failed. WHO CARES?!
I put the new beer in front of her took her money and went to ring it up and wait on the other customers. The bar was pretty crowded at this point. As I walked past her sometime later she was bitching to her friend (who was actually very pretty, but, like my adversary she too was in the wrong). "I'm a bartender," she said "and you have got a lot to learn. You don't do that to customers."
September 21, 2008 5:03 PM
Elgarf said...
So I leaned forward, extended my hand and said, "you're a bartender? Congratulations, I'm very proud of you."
You should have seen the look on "her" face! It was priceless! It was like nobody had ever spoken to her like this before. The friend was equally shocked and horrified. Right about this time the owner came around the corner. The two of them spoke up saying, "Are you the owner? We need to talk to you about your bartender."
September 21, 2008 5:07 PM
Elgarf said...
What "they" didn't know was that my father was the owner. I explained to him what happened but he didn't seem to care. He was counting money or something. He then went around the bar and listened to their story. When he came back I asked what they said. He told me to relax, I had done nothing wrong just keep working. This pissed her off even more. She turned to the friend and said,"He's got his head shoved all the way up his dad's fat ass." That is a quote. I leaned forward and got really close to her before I said, "you know, you're really charming." I didn't shout just said it "matter-of-factly".
She was enraged. "Do you think I care what you think of me?!" she shouted.
"But I'm supposed to care what you think of me?" I returned. "She" was out of her league. "Why are you so hostile to me?" she demanded. At that point she and the friend stood up to leave. As she was leaving the bar I picked up her second empty Miller Lite bottle. I held it up and asked her if I could throw this one away. "Are you coming back? Maybe I better not throw this out." I looked over at two other women who had been sitting with but NOT commisserating with her. I told them, "I think she might be coming back." They started to laugh. She shot me one last dirty look before she walked out of my life.
September 21, 2008 5:31 PM
Elgarf said...
Shortly thereafter the two remaining friends spoke up. "We're bartenders too," one of them said, "and she had no right to treat you that way." I thanked her and told her that I wasn't really a bartender by trade, but just helping my dad. She said it didn't matter and I didn't deserve the hard time she was giving me but that I handled the situation quite well. They stayed late into the night and left a rather decent tip.
What is the moral of this story? Mind your own goddamn business. Don't go looking for trouble, and leave me the fuck alone!
September 21, 2008 5:36 PM
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4 comments:
Elgarf
This has nothing to do with your post but I thought I would throw it your way. Will probably piss off a few people but that has been done before.
The name Ann Coulter sends many folks into fits of rage. But like her or despise her I think she nailed it with her column today (09-24-08) and the reasons for the mortgage meltdown. Why those of us who played by the rules will now pay for those who will simply walk away from it all and sleep well. Rumor is, our lawmakers also want to include in this package, student loans, automobile loans and credit card debt. We have been screwed! I just want everyone to keep their hands the hell out of my pockets. Be it Democrats or Republicans.
Anonymous,
Ann Coulter is a ring-wing fringe player who will NEVER see anything but radical conservative views as having merit.
She entirely MISSES the point: It is such a convenient excuse to blame the financial downfall on the Clinton administration.
You can ask Elgarf and he will tell you that I'm not exactly the biggest Bill Clinton supporter in terms of some of his policies but I've come to place him in a new light in recent years. What I will say is this...
The Bill Clinton administration saw some of the greatest economic times we've seen in many, many years. If you or Ann Coulter want to say that Bill Clinton doesn't deserve such credit, fine. I won't argue with you but realize that you also lose the argument... if he doesn't deserve the credit then, he doesn't get the blame now. And if you do want to credit him with the prosperity his years saw, then you must accordingly place blame on Bush for this current climate. How long did this debacle go on about mortgages and the like before he stepped in?
Ann Coulter is a hot piece of ass! Nothing more, nothing less. She doesn't piss me off, but she has no credibility as far as I am concerned. Unlike Rush and Hannity, she doesn't deal with facts. She deals in outrageous claims that are put out there purely for sensationalism. She claims to be a religious conservative but uses sex to sell her books. Ever see an interview with her where she is wearing a pant-suit? Nope. It is always something slinky and sexy. Don't get me wrong, it works for her (the chief thinks she's too thin). In fact, I have considered buying that book "How to talk to a liberal" just because she looks so damn good on the cover! That tight black leather vest that clings to her hourglass shape, those golden locks that rest gently on her breasts...
Oh, I'm sorry. Where was I? Oh, yeah, Ann Coulter. Yeah, I really don't care what she has to say.
What do these posts have to with the story that the author posted. "Anywhere is a better place to be".
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