Pink Floyd - The Dogs of War, 1986 Being a Pink Floyd fan this one is easy. It is clearly the worst thing to be released under the name of this legendary band, but since it was part of the aptly named A Momentary Lapse of Reason which is little more than David Gilmour's worst solo album it could hardly receive the historical title we are going for in this post. Besides, if you're not a fan you've probably never heard this piece of shit anyway.
ANYTHING by Billy Corgan and the Smashing Pumpkins - 1990s Do you remember this self-indulgent whining bitch? He fancies himself an artist, and believe me those people are the worst assholes of all. They believe that they are on a higher level of existence and deem it necessary to stoop down and explain it to the rest of us, the ignorant masses. Having been an art major I knew and worked with people like this. They live in their middle-class perfect worlds and want to interpret pain and angst they have never known so they whine into a microphone or onto a canvas. Everything that came out of that guy's mouth was shit. Then, as he was getting ready to release his 1990s "Concept" album, Mellon Collie blah, blah, blah, he proudly proclaimed to the world that it would be this generation's "The Wall." Well, gee, Billy that's an awfully large task. Thank you for taking it upon yourself to do that for your generation you arrogant FUCK! By the way, where the fuck is that lousy master piece of shit these days? Does anyone remember it?
What's Going On - by Four Non-Blondes from the 90s Now this is a serious candidate. Remember that out of tune screeching voice screaming into the microphone? I understand that Linda Perry went on to write music for other artists such as P!nk and Christina Aguilera but, clearly they have better voices than she does. No offense, Ms. Perry.
But I guess the song that I am submitting for this great honor of Worst Song of All Time is one that I had to turn off over the weekend. While I was helping my father at his place of business the satellite radio was tuned in to the 90s (you may notice that most of these candidates are from that horrid decade). The upstairs had cleared out and for the first time all evening I could actually hear the music. Sinead O'Connor was warbling "Nothing Compares to You." I had really forgotten how much I hate that song. I RAN over to the switch board and cut her off as fast as I could.
Putting aside her silly behavior on SNL ripping a picture of the Pope in front of the camera and all of that Irish political angst her music really sucks. She was one of those idiots who somehow managed a record deal but had no discernible talent so to get attention she did really outrageous things. Her stint on Roger Waters' 1990 Wall production was just dreadful but, I will say this; she did somewhat redeem herself in 1996 singing back-up vocals on the late, great Richard Wright's solo album, Broken China. Anyway, that is my list. I would love a good discussion arguing a "better" Worst Song. It really isn't as easy as one would think.
6 comments:
Boy this is one subject that can be very difficult to decipher. What is the worst song that I have ever heard. This I can not comprehend, since I can list many songs that are bad. I agree with you 100% about the 90's. If it wasn't for Sinead O'Connor, I can say THE CRANBERRIES song from 1995 is pretty bad, as well as early Sheryl Crow. I also feel that if I listen to a song so much, I get worn out by it. I can say that I hate a song, but it may not be the worst thing that I have ever heard.
This is what makes up 80's music. I can say that some of the songs that I listened to growing up now frankly suck, but I can not hate them, because they are part of my childhood.
Very well said, Mr. O'Malley. People who know me know that I am a huge fan of the Monkees. Now I KNOW they were hated in certain circles, having been prefabricated so it would be difficult to list them among the greatest. Nonetheless they will always be at the top of my list.
On a similar note I also like the Spice Girls and still hope to one day marry Geri Halliwell. That Wannabe song, however, is clearly one of the most annoying songs ever recorded.
I can't disagree too much with Elgarf as he is truly the music guru to me but I can't say that songs like 4 Non Blondes has gotten under my skin, I will say that I don't understand the staying power this mediocre-at-best song from 1993 or 94 has had. I just don't get it.
Skinhead O'Connor's little medley was, indeed, shitty but it was somewhat comforting to know that no matter what, nothing seemed to compare 2 me! All seriousness aside, Sine-Aid O'Connor and her SNL antics are what people really remember so it's obvious her "music" was a vehicle to get to fame and recognition and, once achieved, she went on SNL to achieve infamy.
Congrats and Buona Fortuna, Skinhead. You "music" still sucks donkey balls, though.
So how come Escape (The Pina Colada Song) by Rupert Holmes? Seriously, this song really isn't just obnoxious, it's just downright stupid in terms of the little story that unfolds during it! Good. Go to a bar called O'Malley's. Plan Your Escape.
Just leave me out of it you freaky two-timers!
Now, what I haven't done thus far, is tell you my nominee for worst song and why.
Let me do that now.
The Macarena.
I don't even know if that's spelled correctly and I don't care. It doesn't deserve my time in looking it up.
I despise this song more than most others because the songs you and I have both mentioned were all songs that you pretty much had to "seek out." You needed to do something to hear it in most cases. Whether this is turning on the radio, putting in a CD or going to a club that plays them.
The Macarena? The Chief went to a Youngstown State football game and the halftime show was an attempt by local radio station, Y-103 WYFM, to host the world's biggest Macarena dance.
I was at that game and yet I have no idea if they even accomplished it - all I do know is that if they did accomplish it, it wasn't through any help from me as I refused to engage in this idiotic "dance." Although The Chief was berated by his then-girlfriend who LOVED the idea and thereby guaranteed no lovey-dovey that night for sure, I abstained from the dance (and, consequently and coincidentally from sex that night) and am glad I did (from the dance that is!).
My point was that, try as I might have, I couldn't avoid that damned song even when I went to a college football game!
This makes it my candidate for the worst song.
I think Escape is worse than Sinead.
As for the Macarena, as much as I dislike this song, it cannot make my list. Those two middle-aged Latino gentlemen had a gimmick and milked it for every cent they could. It's the American way. They didn't take themselves or their "song" seriously and neither should anyone else. They made their money and went away. What else could we ask of them?
What else could we ask of them?
Nothing. But then I never asked anything of them in the first place.
What are you doing making fun of my bar. I can plan my escape. This is not cool. Rupert Holmes is a friend of mine, and that is enough said
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