God bless you, Mr. Mukasey

Nobody will ever confuse you with Elliott Rosewater and I pray that the late, great Kurt Vonnegut Jr. will forgive me for hailing you as he did his main character in his 1965 novel. We all know where you stand on waterboarding (and I will not insult my reading public, as the media deems necessary, by defining it here). Whatever Lord W. Bush declares is where you stand, and that is understandable. You cannot be accused of going against your master if you do not answer the question. This is old news, so why do I bring it up? Because today it was announced that the former secretary of "Homeland Security", Tom Ridge, as well as other former administration officials had announced that they DO believe that it is torture. How did you, Mr. Mukasey, address this statement? By saying, "that unlike me they are not Attorney General."

Nobody could have put it better. You, like everyone in your administration, are above the law. You will not be legally responsible for your actions. You, in all your collective wisdom, know far more than we, the patriotic American public. After all, "WE" "elected" your ilk TWICE.

So, just like your master, ENJOY YOUR POWER.

Your days are numbered, and, if we can't beat you, at least we won't have to hear from the likes of you for another 8 years.

BOCCE BALLS!

Once again, I really have no topic to ramble on about, so I decided to flip through the old sketchbooks and scan/post a drawing. The chosen picture comes from late 2004.

I had never been a Darryl Hannah fan until the waning days of 2004 when the Chief and I watched Kill Bill Volume One on video only to see the sequel in the theatre that same night. As a kid I had seen "Splash" (hence the heading) but that was about it, and my fondest memories of the movie come from the late/great John Candy (who has previously been recognized/honored in these postings). Too often she was portrayed as the "dream girl"; the beautiful blonde that everyone desired. Never feeling that way about her I never saw Roxanne or, geez, what else was there? It doesn't matter. I am (Ann) rambling.

I was sickened (and forever poisoned) about/against that bastard, Jackson Browne, who had dated/beat Ms. Hannah who then sought her friend and colleague, J.F.K. Jr. as an escape from the domestic violence ("running on empty..." fuck you, asshole). Again, this is old news. Bartender, shut me off.

Elle Driver was one cool, calculating, and very attractive assassin in the Kill Bill movies. Uma Thurman kicks ass and, hopefully, will forever kick ass. Ms. Hannah's character, Elle Driver, however, was a worthy opponent. The story that Tarantino weaves between these two is gripping, and the results are eye-popping!

So, for not having a topic, I present you with one of my favorite drawings.

Pardon me, I've got nothing to say (or do I?)

I quote George Carlin in the heading of this post because I am tired of opening the page only to see that patriotic asshole, Chuck Norris waving those guns at me.

I wish I had more to say.

Oh, I know, I would like to be one of the few proud Americans that stands up and defends President Bill Clinton for his performance on the campaign trail. This man is not a racist. Nor is he saying inappropriate things about senator obama. In fact the senator doesn't seem to know how politics works. When running for an office people point out their strengths and their opponents weaknesses. He may remember some inappropriate comments that his own wife made about the Senator from New York. I have often heard that barack doesn't want to make this a campaign of "race". I agree, he shouldn't. So leave the whining and crying back in Illinois. You are not perfect. Your record MUST be challenged. You are no more a victim than any other candidate, (I would like to point out here that many believe John McCain is too old for the job. Why doesn't senator obama come to his defense?).

And then there is Tom Daschle, the one-time senator from South Dakota who was run out of the senate shortly after a piss-poor run for the white house in 2004. This whiny, washed up hack believes that the President's comments are unbecoming to someone who once held the office. Mr. Daschle, if anyone thought that your actions or words were "becoming" you might still be a politician today.

Don't believe everything you read, Chuck

First of all I would like to thank Chuck Norris for his contribution to American cinema. If it weren't for him Peter LeFleur and Average Joe's Gym would not have been able to compete in the final round of the National Dodgeball Tournament. And then there was, uh, Lonewolf McQuaid? Well, I guess that was ok. What else was there? Damn! Where was I going with this?

Oh, yeah, that's right. Chuck, have you ever heard of William Shatner? He is known more for his "camp" appeal than for his theatrical skills. The same could be said about David Hasselhoff. Now we all have laughed our asses off at the "Little known facts about Chuck Norris." My personal favorite is "Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Unfortunately he has never cried." Man that is a good one, and it points out just what a macho son-of-a-bitch you really are! But, let me fill you in on a secret. They are just jokes. They are not true. You are not a great actor and are merely a charicature of American culture. Do you know why you are george bush's favorite actor? Because, like you, he is also an illiterate country bumpkin. He believes he is a cowboy, you played a Texas Ranger. He abuses the executive branch of government, you beat things up.

Now, as for your right-wing leanings, that's fine. Everyone has their own opinion on politics. But let me suggest this: if you are going to host republican fund-raisers and throw your name around to get people votes, use some better judgment. Your comment that John McCain "is too old" for the job displays your ignorance. While he is not my choice for president, he is actually a hero, you just play one on TV. (Now, having said that I don't give two shits about any past military service this bearded red-neck has done. I did not do any fact finding on this hick.)

So throw your support behind Huckabee or whoever, but fuck you, nonetheless.

John Kerry will burn in Hell

As you have probably heard, this communist bastard has forsaken his former president, his former running mate and his party. Election 2004 was a referendum for change. We knew then that the bush administration LIED about weapons of mass destruction and didn't give a shit about the country the stupid hick was supposed to represent. John Kerry should have walked all over and walked away with bush and his job. What did he do? Go windsurfing. Why not? Didn't he earn it?

This son-of-a-bitch allowed the administration and those pig-fu*#ing "swift boat veterans" to make him look like a traitor. Did he fight it? No. He rolled over and admitted that they were right.

Now John Kerry has come out publicly and supported Barack Obama for president.

FUCK YOU JOHN KERRY! YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE LAST FOUR YEARS THIS COUNTRY HAS ENDURED. YOU WERE HANDED THE PRESIDENCY AND YOU HANDED IT BACK TO THE CRIMINALS. WE DON"T GIVE A SHIT WHO YOU ENDORSE. YOUR OPINION IS IRRELEVANT. YOU WILL BE JUDGED HARSHLY, YOU WEASEL BASTARD!

You old bastard, you.

At 7:00 am (in the morning) I was backing out of the driveway. Renee Montaigne was just giving the highlights of the news to come, but right before the break she wished a happy birthday to Donald Fagen. "The man who sang 'Hey Nineteen' turns 60,"
she said.

I have always known and loved Steely Dan. I have been a "Steely Fan" for only 16 years. I recall an evening in '92 or '93 when I was in the backseat of a friend's car with my girlfriend coming back from somewhere during my first (or second) year of college somewhere in small-town Pennsylvania (Pee-Ay, as we say). A local radio station was playing an evening of "B sides". Obviously, at this point, the cd had replaced the record, but the station was playing the second half of a series of albums. I'm (somewhat) sure they played Peg and Hey 19, but it has been a while. At the break the DJ announced that it was a 'best of' album by Steely Dan. It was one of those moments of revelation. I recognized just about every song that was played, but could not put a name to the band before that night. As a child I would hear the songs on pop radio, so I knew them, but not really. They sounded different that night. I had recently played in a high-school garage band and knew a little more about music than I previously had. This "pop" music had depth, layer, texture, color, flavor... I was completely surrounded by ORCHESTRATED sound and I fell in love, as if I had heard these old, tired, familiar songs for the first time. Soon thereafter I bought my first copy of 1976's Aja, at a now defunct record store, and yes, it was on vinyl. It wasn't long before I got the boxed set, Citizen Steely Dan, which collects all of the studio albums onto 4 cds. I saw them live in 1996, then in 2000, then in 2003, and finally in 2006. I truly love these guys.

Anyway, I am listening to 2006's Morph the Cat by Messr. Fagen as I type. While the title track of his first solo album, The Nightfly, ranks among my all-time favorite songs ("you say there's a race of men in the trees, you're for tough legislation, thanks for calling, we wait all night for calls like these") and his second outing, Kamikiriad, has delightful jazz-pop tunes, there is no question that "Morph" is his finest. So I say, if at 58 Donald Fagen recorded his second finest work (only behind Aja), then I wish him a happy 60th birthday, and look forward to the next, productive 60 years!

Patience, my lad...

I see that it is two weeks since my last posting, and about damn time. As for those violent drawings, the culprit has been apprehended and dealt with (somewhat severely). I will not make any further reference here. Those of you in the know either have the details or can get them quite easily. I prefer to make this posting somewhat lighter, even though the language may become somewhat coarse.

Today, on a lazy Saturday, here in the midwest, I decided to go to my local record trader. I was not looking for anything specific, but after a long awaited pay-day and several bills out of the way I was in the mood to browse. This is what I found:
That is Michael Nesmith and the First National Band's second album, LOOSE SALUTE. Should it mean a goddamn thing to you? Not necessarily. That is, until you've had the back story. As many of you know, I have been a fan of the Monkees (that's right, the "Pre-Fab Four") for the greater part of my life. Well, it began at the age of 12, and I am now... I came to the group at the 20th anniversary in 1986 when MTV began a revival of the old shows. Nick at Nite soon picked them up and I had about 40 something out of the 58 episodes on VHS. I won't bore you with the details. Mike Nesmith was always my favorite. I guess he was the least silly and actually had some musical talent about him (Peter Tork was a close second as far as music goes). Anyway, since then I have become somewhat of a collector and even proudly sport a Nez tattoo (as seen in the header of this blog). As of this morning I had 6 solo albums. I once came upon Loose Salute at a pretentious record trader on Rte 18. I won't specify which Rte. 18, but I will give you a description of the proprietor. She was/is a 60 + woman of indeterminate hair color (I have seen it dyed several shades) who grows no eyebrows of her own accord. They are, rather, penciled in a most obnoxious manner above those beady, suspicious little black heartless eyes that she focuses on her computer screen, far more important than the living breathing customer that may actually spend a dollar in the store established by her late husband.

Stop me. I ramble. At any rate, several years ago I saw this record on Rte. 18, in "HER" possession. She wanted $28.00 for it. Not having heard the album I couldn't say if it was worth it or not. I decided that I would find it more reasonably and not give this bitch the satisfaction. Her motto seems to be, "I have it and you don't, HA HA!!!" Don't get me wrong. I know the value of a rare recording and do not want to get something for free. She, however has no idea of what she has, but relies on the current market value she digs up on the internet. Fucking whore!

My local record trader had this 1970 recording for a grand total of 8 dollars 54 cents. I am willing to bet $28.00 that that whore still has her copy sitting on the shelf.