Monday, January 21, 2008

Don't believe everything you read, Chuck



First of all I would like to thank Chuck Norris for his contribution to American cinema. If it weren't for him Peter LeFleur and Average Joe's Gym would not have been able to compete in the final round of the National Dodgeball Tournament. And then there was, uh, Lonewolf McQuaid? Well, I guess that was ok. What else was there? Damn! Where was I going with this?

Oh, yeah, that's right. Chuck, have you ever heard of William Shatner? He is known more for his "camp" appeal than for his theatrical skills. The same could be said about David Hasselhoff. Now we all have laughed our asses off at the "Little known facts about Chuck Norris." My personal favorite is "Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Unfortunately he has never cried." Man that is a good one, and it points out just what a macho son-of-a-bitch you really are! But, let me fill you in on a secret. They are just jokes. They are not true. You are not a great actor and are merely a charicature of American culture. Do you know why you are george bush's favorite actor? Because, like you, he is also an illiterate country bumpkin. He believes he is a cowboy, you played a Texas Ranger. He abuses the executive branch of government, you beat things up.

Now, as for your right-wing leanings, that's fine. Everyone has their own opinion on politics. But let me suggest this: if you are going to host republican fund-raisers and throw your name around to get people votes, use some better judgment. Your comment that John McCain "is too old" for the job displays your ignorance. While he is not my choice for president, he is actually a hero, you just play one on TV. (Now, having said that I don't give two shits about any past military service this bearded red-neck has done. I did not do any fact finding on this hick.)

So throw your support behind Huckabee or whoever, but fuck you, nonetheless.

3 comments:

The Chief said...

A few quick points:

1) John McCain is a hero. He served his country above and beyond the call initially asked of him and endured the harsh treatment of being a POW. End of story on that front.

2) John McCain (in my opinion) is too old (for my liking) to assume the office. He would be 73 by the end of his first year in office, if elected. Ronald Reagan was off on the senility road by the end of his second term. If McCain were elected twice, he would be 81 years old when he left office in 2017.

John McCain does not owe me a thing as far as I'm concerned. He has fought for this country, damn near died for it and then felt compelled to continue his service in the Senate. If he wants to run (and win) I would appreciate him and his efforts but I would stop and say thank you and let him know he did all he could and now it's our (a younger generation's) turn to try to right the ship.

Whether I agree with a most of this or not - another great post from Elgarf. Proving, once again, what I have said before - Elgarf is an honest and principled person who brings up great points! Thanks C.J.!

Elgarf said...

I am not even addressing McCain's age. Barack Obama is the youngest guy in the race and I am not supporting him. I just don't think that it is the call of a "B-Movie" actor to decide. Chuck Norris should do what he does best- 1. Look cheesy with that gay-ass beard 2. Make more movies for dumb guys where he beats things up 3. be the butt of those wonderful internet jokes.

He has no credibility. As I said, John McCain is not my choice for president, but Fuck Chuck Norris.

MR LAYTOM or MR GANZ said...

AFTER ALL THAT IS SAID AND DONE, THIS WAS A TRUE HONEST POST. YES, I AGREE WITH YOU THAT CHUCK NORRIS IS NOT MY FAVORITE ACTOR BUT WHO IS? I AGREE THAT JOHN MCCAIN IS TOO OLD, BUT I WAS ALWAYS TAUGHT TO RESPECT MY ELDERS, AND AGE IS JUST A STATE OF MIND. MY REAL PROBLEM WITH JOHN MCCAIN IS THAT HE TRIED TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT SO MANY TIMES AND FAILED, THAT I AM TIRED OF HEARING HIS NAME MENTIONED, AND WE DO NEED SOME NEW PEOPLE IN ELECTED OFFICE.